Insights
Taking the ‘awkward’ out of pre-nuptial conversations
Not every marriage endures. However, our long-term relationships with multiple family members across the generations provide us with a deep understanding of the families we support and the intricacies that make every situation unique.
In this first in a series about divorce, Nicholas Toubkin from our Wealth Planning team outlines how the team can help a family in the pre-marriage planning phase and in the unfortunate event of a marriage breakdown.
A Family Office approach to risk mitigation around disputes and break-ups
Our clients rank ‘family disputes or break-up’ as the number one risk to long-term family wealth. According to our 2018 client survey, 68% of respondents rate it in their top five risks (Four Pillars of Capital: The Next Chapter).
Given this, it is surprising that families still find it difficult to raise the possibility that some marriages may not endure.
Supporting families through major life events and finding solutions to the most complex of issues is a large part of what we do. Often, this involves helping them to navigate through the awkward conversations. While many parents may have considered raising the subject of prenuptial agreements (pre-nups) to their children, we have found that many more put off having the discussion out of fear of making them uncomfortable.
Nevertheless, things are changing. Today, not only is there generally a greater regard for clear communication and transparency but also pre-nups are not quite the taboo they once were. In fact, some families increasingly see it as good housekeeping, like putting in place a Lasting Power of Attorney or writing a will. Indeed, these days, when we broach the subject of pre-marriage planning on behalf of the parents, we often find the children are half expecting the conversation.
Our many years of working with families means that we have first-hand experience of balancing the harder financial considerations with softer family dynamics. We have accumulated years of ‘practical wisdom’ – a deep bank of what to do when things go wrong and, ideally, how to head off potential issues before they become a problem.
In practical terms, before any marriage, we work closely with a family’s lawyers to prepare key legal documents, provide holistic advice around the bigger family picture and – most importantly – keep the process moving forward. It is important, for instance, that a prenuptial agreement must be reached at least one month before the wedding.
We frequently discover that our early involvement minimises confrontation throughout the process of co-ordinating the various moving parts and advisers. Our approach is to wrap our arms around the entire process and collaborate with professionals across all disciplines to co-ordinate the wider family strategy.
By putting these key legal documents in place it means that, ultimately, if things do go wrong, there is a road map in place to help manage conflict. If the parties can come to an agreement before something goes awry, they are much more likely to reach some sort of amicable resolution further down the line.
Nick Toubkin is a Director in our Wealth Planning team. He has over 15 years’ experience in helping individuals and their families to structure all aspects of their finances.
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